About L&BJ (0.)

What if I just fucking quit this fucking job?

    You ask yourself this question, don’t you? Surely everybody does. I used to ask it all the time, I just never really believed I’d do it. I mean seriously, I couldn’t possibly become one of those people who is voluntarily unemployed. What am I, a fucking housewife? A stereotype? A leech on society hiding behind an anachronistic, patriarchal so-called tradition? A “SAHM?” (Too bad that acronym doesn’t have an I in it, that we could dot with a little heart. Puke.)

And then I did it. I quit.

Most people don’t exist in the kind of reality that allows for actually finding out the answer to the question themselves, so I thought I’d give you the opportunity to live vicariously through my experience. Here’s what happened when I just fucking quit that fucking job.

            I spent almost 12 years working in one of those jobs that make you feel good about yourself when people ask what you do. One of those jobs that is absolutely necessary, unbearably hard, and ultimately unappreciated. It’s one of those jobs where people tell you “You can’t give all of yourself away; you have to keep something back for yourself or you’ll burn out…” Except that if you were the kind of person who could keep something back for yourself, you wouldn’t be the kind of person to have that job in the first place.

The only problem is that they’re right: You have to keep something back for yourself, or you’ll burn out. So yeah, you burn out. I burned out. I finally got pushed across the line, and when my husband said – for the hundredth time – “Why don’t you just fucking quit that fucking job?” I did it. I’d gone straight from work to his company’s anniversary party that night, so I got shit-housed on free booze, stayed up half the night writing a letter of resignation that was half poetry, half scathing indictment, was too exhausted in the morning to second-guess myself, and I just pussied up and did it.

            My pussy’s been up ever since.


(Here's an excellent song to get drunk and quit your job to.)